As I look back, it has been several years that God has been teaching my heart the lesson of giving thanks. The past 4 years, though, He has especially stepped in and worked on my heart in serious ways in this area. As He revealed sin and struggle and convicted my soul....as I turned to Him for help...the answer so many times was to start with an attitude of thankfulness.
He has used people, books, blogs and most importantly His Word to show me time and time again that my ungrateful approach to things was robbing me of JOY.
When I got pregnant with the twins, I struggled deeply. I was so conflicted between knowing that I was blessed and that another child was a privilege but I was also buying into the lies that this additional child was a burden that I hadn't signed up for. It wasn't part of my plan and I struggled with surrendering and just allowing God to use me for His plan.
I had reasons. I was allowing ideas to turn into discontentment. I wanted more space and more money and more comfort and more luxury and I wanted things to be about me. I was quick to see where things were not what I had envisioned and linger there, allowing the void to bring discouragement and worry and doubt.
At some point along the way, though, God drew me out of this. He brought me to a point...to a choice. I could continue to be miserable. Or I could look at the things He was doing. The things He had already done. And I could CHOOSE to THANK Him. As I said before, this has been a process and He has grown me so much. A few years ago, my struggles with discontentment were regular and I'd find myself drowning in them at times. Now, THANKS BE TO HIM, that He has shown me the WAY of thanksgiving and the struggles are few and far between.
And so, He has been teaching me to be thankful regularly. I want to write more often. I want to record our days. I want to have something to look back to. But most of all, I want to remember the many gifts He's given. I want to remember all I have to be thankful for.
Ann Voskamp writes here: www.aholyexperience.com and also authored the book One Thousand Gifts. She encourages and challenges to write down our gifts. Be thankful for them outloud on paper. And so begins my thankfulness journal: http://thebrownsgivehimthanks.blogspot.com/
Thursday, October 25, 2012
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. [Psalm 121:1b-2]
Blessed are those who keep His testimonies,
Who seek Him with the whole heart!
The also do no iniquity;
They walk in His ways.
You have commanded us
To keep your precepts diligently.
[Psalm 119:2-4]
I sit. I read. I pray. I type. I pray. I delete. I pray. I type some more. I process.
Sometimes my days blend together. Each day repeats the day before. Other days I blink and a month has disappeared. Babies grow. Children learn. Messes are cleaned. The clean gets messy. Days are mixed with the practicality of living; of feeding, washing, growing, exploring, instructing, disciplining, learning, seeking and the call to be still. I'm called to seek Him with my whole heart. I'm called to know that He is God.
People say I'm super mom. People look at me and the babes He's entrusted to my care; they look with wonder and awe. And I wonder back just how I can give all the glory to Him. The good they see is not me. There is still so much I struggle in my flesh. {but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, "Be holy, for I am holy."}[1 Peter 1:15-16] Still so far away. He still has so much work to do on me.
He is working on me.
He is asking questions of my actions. And questions of my heart.
I can hide from others, but not from Him.
And the fact is, that my actions reveal my heart. And so, as I look at the things that I do, say, wear, buy, invest in, spend time on, take pleasure in.....I must evaluate my heart.
And I seek and plead and ask God to show me what it looks like. And when the answer returns that it may....no that it WILL look differently for different people, I am left more confused than before.
But He is my help. He is MY HELP. He made heaven and earth....and He is my help.
So when I wake up, I will thank Him. When I dress, I will ask Him to show me HIS ways. He will help me. As I care for my littles, I will run to Him for help.
And I will pray that as I love Him and as He helps me, that others will see HIM and not me.
Blessed are those who keep His testimonies,
Who seek Him with the whole heart!
The also do no iniquity;
They walk in His ways.
You have commanded us
To keep your precepts diligently.
[Psalm 119:2-4]
I sit. I read. I pray. I type. I pray. I delete. I pray. I type some more. I process.
Sometimes my days blend together. Each day repeats the day before. Other days I blink and a month has disappeared. Babies grow. Children learn. Messes are cleaned. The clean gets messy. Days are mixed with the practicality of living; of feeding, washing, growing, exploring, instructing, disciplining, learning, seeking and the call to be still. I'm called to seek Him with my whole heart. I'm called to know that He is God.
People say I'm super mom. People look at me and the babes He's entrusted to my care; they look with wonder and awe. And I wonder back just how I can give all the glory to Him. The good they see is not me. There is still so much I struggle in my flesh. {but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, "Be holy, for I am holy."}[1 Peter 1:15-16] Still so far away. He still has so much work to do on me.
He is working on me.
He is asking questions of my actions. And questions of my heart.
I can hide from others, but not from Him.
And the fact is, that my actions reveal my heart. And so, as I look at the things that I do, say, wear, buy, invest in, spend time on, take pleasure in.....I must evaluate my heart.
And I seek and plead and ask God to show me what it looks like. And when the answer returns that it may....no that it WILL look differently for different people, I am left more confused than before.
But He is my help. He is MY HELP. He made heaven and earth....and He is my help.
So when I wake up, I will thank Him. When I dress, I will ask Him to show me HIS ways. He will help me. As I care for my littles, I will run to Him for help.
And I will pray that as I love Him and as He helps me, that others will see HIM and not me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)