Saturday, June 5, 2010

1. crazy 2. scary 3. impossible??

Today Chip left for work at 6:25am and will get off at 2:45pm. So I got up with the kids. Typically, he doesn't work until at least 12pm....most of the time its 3pm. Because I get up with the babies to feed them in the night still, he gets up with Kenzie & Ryken when they get up at 6am. He's been doing this since the middle of my pregnancy with the twins when I really needed the extra sleep.

So. Since I got up nice and early, at 6:10am, I was feeling like I should DO something today....or GO somewhere...or something. Usually, I am not up and awake until 8:30ish....so by the time I eat, get dressed (if I actually EVER get dressed that day...sad, I know) and can even THINK about going somewhere it is almost lunch time and the babies are taking a nap and it just doesn't seem worth it. So today, I was awake and ready to go. But I couldn't think of anything to do. Saturdays are hard, because I know that most of my friends are enjoying the weekend with their husbands....having family time. So it isn't the best day to try to coordinate a spur-of-the-moment playdate. And it's always more daunting to run errands on weekends since everything is busier. But I REALLY wanted to get out. How much??? SO much that I loaded up all 4 kids and headed to the grocery store.

Yep.

That's correct.

The grocery store.

"I need to go to the grocery store." It is one of those sentences, that as I've had more children, has slowly, but completely, changed in meaning.

There were the pre-kid days: In those days...it was kind of annoying. But also no big deal. Like..aw man, I need this ingredient. Oh well. I'll just run to the store real quick. I'd get to the store...jump out of the car....run in....get what I needed....back to the car....back home.

Then...I had Kenzie. And I thought things were SOOOO HARD. It was a pretty drastic change at the time. I had to plan around HER schedule...when she had eaten...when she was tired. Loading and unloading took an extra 2-3 minutes. People would stop to admire the baby. A "quick trip to the store" just didn't exist anymore. But it never really crossed my mind NOT to go. Going just took longer.

Then I had Ryken. And suddenly, when I'd think of grocery shopping, I now carefully weighed in my mind whether I REALLY felt like taking the kids. I would sometimes take them, and sometimes plan to go when Chip would be home. It was also at this point, that going grocery shopping alone started to feel like freedom. A luxury. Time ALL ALONE.

Then I had Emery & Casey. And the thought of the grocery store.....myself.....with all 4 kids....seems: 1. crazy. 2. scary. 3. impossible.

It's just the grocery store, but as silly as it sounds, I have actually seriously had the thought many times "Can I do it? Should I even dare try??"

But for some reason, today I felt up for the challenge. I wanted to get out. The kids were being good. I NEEDED to go to the store. And so...I loaded them up and off we went. As I started to drive, I actually panicked in my head a little and thought about calling my grandpa or Chip's mom or something and ditching the grocery store idea all together and just going to visit someone. But I really felt like I wanted to know I could do it. It seems silly, I know. But ever since the twins, I have had that feeling so many times.....just needing to know that I'm capable and it really isn't THAT bad.

So we got to the store. I was PRAYING that a "car cart" would be available. It was my plan. And I had no "plan B". The "car carts" are these amazingly huge annoying shopping carts that have a toy car attached to the front where kids can sit and "drive". Kenzie and Ryken LOVE these carts. In the past, I've always tried to avoid them. I literally would park on the other side of the parking lot to try to keep the kids from spotting them when I'd see them. But today, I was praying for one. As we were pulling up, I spotted a pitiful looking one at the entrance...the steering wheels had been removed and it was filthy. But it was a "car cart". So I quickly (as quickly as I COULD) parked and got the kids unloading....hoping it would still be at the entrance by the time we got there. And it was....."phew". So Kenzie and Ryken loaded in the "car". Emery was in his carseat on the normal "seat" part of the car (where people normally put carseats) and I was wearing Casey in a sling.

And guess what?

It went GREAT!

Neither baby cried at all. Casey slept in the sling and Emery was awake, but just hanging out, the whole time. Kenzie and Ryken didn't fight. Or cry. Or scream. Ryken yelled "Other way" a few times when he wanted me to go back to something he wanted. But it wasn't a big deal. We got everything we needed and checked out. I bought the kids some TicTacs as a special "treat" for being SO good.

So. Now I know I can. And it doesn't even have to be that bad. Will I start taking all 4 kids to the grocery store regularly? Probably not. And by probably not, I mean no. Just because I CAN do it, doesn't mean I HAVE to do it. So grocery store time will still primarily be "mommy alone time" (or mommy/one-on-one child date....that is fun too!)

But now the grocery store by myself with 4 kids 3 looks more like this:
1. crazy 2. scary 3. impossible

The "big kids"

Here are a few of my current "favorites" of the "big kids" : ) I absolutely LOVE watching these two interact on a daily basis. They are SUCH good friends! I have often thought over the past few months how HAPPY I am that I had TWO kids before the twins, and not just one. I think it has helped out the transition tremendously! Kenzie and Ryken were already so used to playing together and love keeping each other entertained. They have so much fun together and don't like to go places without each other. They also fight. And hit. And take things from each other. But what siblings DON'T do those things? Anyway....here are a few pictures that I really LOVE of K & R. Enjoy!

At Joe's Farm Grill...eating lollipops after lunch:



At the zoo:

Hanging at home:

Friday, June 4, 2010

Coconut Robot....I'm in love ♥

So....a few months ago a friend from college had a baby. I was admiring her ADORABLE baby boy on Facebook and that is where I was first introduced with the "My name is...." onesie. Her little guy was wearing a cute little onesie with a GIANT nametag with HIS name...looking all cute and handwritten. It was adorable. And unique. And just plain cute.

I realized that another friend from Taylor was the creative genius behind the design. So I visited Kacia's blog. The more I saw. The more I loved.

And so...I emailed her. HOW DO I GET MY HANDS ON THESE ONESIES?!?! She wrote back right away and we got the process started : )

I wrote the boys' names about a bazillion times...and when I finally settled on the ones I liked, I emailed her THIS picture:

She set up a "client" site for me to see color combos and we wrote back and forth coming up with exactly what I wanted for my boys.

And then. On Wednesday afternoon. I went to my mailbox and found a box. I opened it up and my onesies were HERE! Hurray! I couldn't WAIT for the boys to wake up from their nap. As soon as they did, I changed them and started snapping pictures:



Aren't they the CUTEST THINGS EVER?!?!?!? I love them for ONE baby....but for some reason, I LOVE LOVE LOVE them for identical twins. I think because I hear "which one is which" almost every day....sometimes even from my own mouth. And there is something really special about giving them their own identity. Their NAMES are a HUGE part of their PERSONAL identity. And having such a CUTE way to distinguish them from one another is awesome!

Not only are these onesies RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE, but they are also great quality. You can choose from 4 different colors of onesies (white, black, brown, bright blue) which are high quality organic cotton. They are soft and comfy and the perfect thickness (not too thick, not too thin). And the tags are hand-stitched with love ♥ The tags snap onto the onesies...so you can take them off to wash the onesie. PLUS when your little one gets bigger, you can just order new onesies the next size up to attach the original tag too....saving you $$ and getting more use out of the cuteness!!

If you like what you see and want to see more fabulous designs & get more info, check out Coconut Robot!! You won't be sorry!

Just for the record. Kacia did not ASK me to "review" her products on my super popular blog. I get absolutely NOTHING for writing this post. I am writing this COMPLETELY out of my l♥ve and excitement for this product!! And to show off how ridiculously kissable my boys look in coco.ro : )

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I feel like I just ran a marathon.......

just to get to the starting line.

I know from other moms, that it isn't an uncommon feeling to feel "behind". I often feel like I am constantly just trying to catch up...only to fall behind somewhere else. I may get all the laundry done. But the dishes are stacking up in the sink. Or I get the floors vacuumed and mopped. But the bathroom is disgusting. If you're a mom, you know the feeling.

But then there are days like I had today. Days where you get ALL CAUGHT UP! I don't even know how it happens. God gives me some amazing amount of energy and motivation...and suddenly the day is over and SO MUCH got accomplished.

Here is the "marathon" I completed today:
* 7 loads of laundry, folded and put away (load 8 is in the dryer and load 9 is in the washer)
* Clean sheets are back on the beds
* ALL dishes are done, dried, and put away
* Bathroom was cleaned...even the bathtub
* Vacuumed
* Mopped
* All trash has been taken out
* Table is wiped up
* Food is planned for tomorrow
* Babies got baths
* Kids got baths
* I showered and straightened my hair
And to top it all off, I made a homemade cherry crisp.

It feels SOO good to have everything "caught up" all at the SAME TIME! But the funny thing is, that even with everything caught up, I feel like I am just at the starting line. I find it almost IMPOSSIBLE to get AHEAD! But I'll take being where I'm at. It feels really good. It's such a relaxing feeling to feel like I have to try to THINK of things that need to be done.

The thing I am most excited about on days like these is the fact that Chip will get to come home to a peaceful place of rest. This is something that I'm not able to do everyday. I'm not able to do it most days, in fact. Usually, when he walks in the door there is still SOMETHING to be done. He understands this stage in life and he is never upset. But as a wife, I love it when my husband can walk into our home after a long day (and today was a VERY long 16 hour work day) and do nothing but put up his feet and unwind. And the even better part is that I'm able to sit down WITH him and just enjoy his company.

I wish I were able to have more days like today. It is something I need to work on. I know many people will say that it isn't realistic to put that type of pressure on myself and that Chip understands. And this is true to some extent. There are days when I will give it my all and be doing my best and there will still be dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and toys everywhere. And that's ok.

But there are also days when I am just lazy and selfish. There are days when I could very easily get everything done and provide the peaceful resting place for my husband. But I choose to put myself and my desires above everyone else. The world tries to tell us that this is ok. That we somehow "deserve" to be lazy sometimes. And while I agree that it is ok to rest and that we need to prioritize and that sometimes a nap is more important than the housework, I also think that I start to allow the world's way of thinking to creep in sometimes and I use it to justify behaviors that are not ok.

And so. I will work on it.

I won't be perfect.

But I am excited to work on being the wife and mother and woman that God has created me to be. I am excited to have more days like today, where I chose to get up off my butt and get things done, to serve my family with a joyful heart.

The most amazing part of it all, is that God is gracious enough to give a HUGE sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when we live in the way He has called us to live. The days that I indulge my own desires...the days I sit and watch TV or waste time on Facebook before getting things done that I need to do end in feelings of frustration and failure and disappointment in myself. Today, I worked hard and I did what I needed to do. And I feel great. Am I tired? Yes. But I'm tired at the end of days when I DON'T get things done too. At least tonight when I crawl in between the nice clean sheets I won't lay in bed trying to fall asleep while I think of everything that I never got around to doing today.

To do.

Today:

* 8 loads of laundry
* vacuum
* mop
* clean bathroom
* clean kitchen
* feed babies
* eat (yep. have to put this on the list or I might forget)
* straighten hair
* pick up toys
* stay off Facebook until above chores are complete

I'm not sure if I am up for this. But here we go............

Monday, May 31, 2010

What's going on...I smell like vinegar?!?

My sweat smells like vinegar. But it's not just me. My adorable little 4 month old boys smell the same way. WHAT?!

Hormones?

Diet?

Am I really THAT dirty?!

What the heck is going on???

I have given birth 3 times now. I have been in this "postpartum" stage 3 times. But I can tell you that this new aroma is a first. I have been smelling it for a few weeks now. I keep thinking I'm imagining it. But now Chip has confirmed it as well.

It's a little bit strange. Your sweet baby boys wake up in the morning and are all smiles and giggles and you go to pick them up and give them some snuggles and you take a big whiff of their sweet baby smell vinegar?!?! WHAT?!?!

I shower (although probably not as often as would be ideal. ha!). I bathe my babies. I don't think we're THAT dirty. Besides....does "extra dirty" really = vinegar smelling??

So....my next thought...what am I possibly eating to cause this?! I can't come up with anything. I haven't added anything new to my diet. I don't eat anything weird. I'm ruling out diet on this one.

Hormones? Possibly. Who knows. But this is the one I'm going with. Because face it. You can blame ANYTHING on hormones when you're 4 month postpartum. ESPECIALLY with twins!

But for real. Does anyone know why we smell like vinegar?

Friday, May 28, 2010

Meeting the boys face to face : )

Soo....I am finally getting around to writing about my labor and delivery with Emery and Casey. Here I am about 4 days before they were born:


I had a little bit of a meltdown a few days later on Wednesday, February 3rd. I knew that my doctor was going to induce either Sunday or Monday, but at that point, 4-5 more days seemed WAY TOO LONG! I wanted them OUT!

On Thursday, February 4th, I woke up and was feeling some light cramping here and there, but really wasn’t having any contractions. I had my last NST and BPP ultrasound that morning at 9:30am. I was hoping to go and find out I was contracting and have them send me to the hospital. As I sat through the NST I felt a few contractions, but there wasn’t enough going on for the doctor to be concerned. The babies looked great on their ultrasound…I was even able to get “face shots” from both of them. We hadn’t gotten a picture of Emery’s face for several weeks because he was always facing my back, so it was fun to see his chubby little cheeks and get a sneak peak of what I’d be kissing and loving on soon : ) Soo…I went home to wait for my doctor to call and tell me whether she was going to induce me on Sunday or Monday.

2:30pm: The kids went down for their nap and Chip left for work. I decided to take a nap too. I woke up around 3:45 having some contractions and more light cramping. I was having trouble feeling the actual contractions apart from the cramping…so I didn’t really time them. At that point, they weren’t very significant and definitely not “painful”. They were just strong enough to be noticeable…just a step above Braxton Hicks. I called the doctors office again and they still hadn’t heard if my doctor had decided to induce on Sunday or Monday and told me to call back in the morning.

4:30pm: The kids woke up and watched Curious George. I decided that I’d make them dinner and clean up the house a little bit and see if my contractions got worse or went away.

5:12pm: Chip’s mom called and told her that I was having something going on, and that if I needed her I’d let her know. I only let her know something was up because she had called me, anyway. Otherwise, things weren’t bad enough that I would have called her.

5:25pm: I called my mom. I told her that I was so unsure of what to do. I was pretty much in denial that it could really be anything significant, since I had really gotten it in my head that there was no way I’d have the babies before my doctor induced, especially since I’d been off of bedrest and the meds for stopping contractions for 4 days and hadn’t felt ANYTHING until that day. While I was on the phone with her, I told her that if Chip were home and could stay with the kids that I would definitely go in just to see what was happening. I just felt bad having other people come over to watch the kids, especially because I knew his parents had plans with friends that night. She said that if that was the only thing holding me back from going in, that I should probably go in and at least get checked out…or if nothing else, at least call my doctor.

5:40pm: I called the doctor’s office (which was closed) and listened to the message. Basically, I had 2 options…page the on-call doctor and wait for a call back or go to triage. I knew what the on-call dr would say. They’d want me to go to triage.

5:48pm: I called our neighbor, Jenn. I was still feeling bad about having my in-laws cancel plans, so I thought maybe Jenn could come over and watch the kids instead…since I was pretty sure at that point nothing was going on. NO ANSWER.

5:49pm: Called Chip’s parents house. NO ANSWER.

5:50pm: Called Chip’s mom’s cell phone. NO ANSWER.

5:51pm: Called Chip’s sister’s cell. NO ANSWER.

5:52pm: Tried the house again. NO ANSWER

5:53pm: Tried Mom B’s cell again. NO ANSWER

5:53pm: Tried Dad B’s cell. NO ANSWER.

(Ok..so at this point I was REALLY second guessing myself…I had just made the FOR SURE decision to go to triage… and now NO ONE was answering. And this is only about a half hour after I had talked to Chip’s mom)

5:54pm: Called my mom back and told her I was going in…as soon as I could make plans with Chip’s parents. While I was on the phone with her, Chip’s mom called me back. And while I was talking to her, Liz called me back.

We decided that Chip’s parents would come stay with the kids and Liz would go to the hospital with me. By this time the contractions still weren’t bad, but they were definitely more discernable from the overall cramping. At one point I tried to time a few and was getting them 2-3 minutes apart. I timed them for 10-15 minutes at that interval. They got here around 6:30pm and Liz and I headed to Banner Desert. On the way there I had a Nutrigrain bar and a Naked juice…just in case I ended up staying. I hadn’t eaten dinner. I also decided maybe it would be a good idea to call my husband....ya know….keep him in the loop?

We walked into triage a little before 7pm. My triage nurse was Denise…the same wonderful nurse I’d had in triage exactly 3 weeks earlier. It was fun, because she remembered me and was happy to see that everything had gone ok and that I was SUPPOSED to be there this time! She got me all set up and my contractions were just like I thought…2-3 minutes apart. She checked me and I was still about 3 ½ cm dilated and around 70% effaced. She told me to walk around and see if anything changed. Here was the dilemma….I HAD to be in labor BY MYSELF. No pitocin. No water-breakage. Nothing like that until there was PROOF that I was in true labor on my own (showing changes in dilation). Why? Because I wasn’t 36 weeks yet. It was Thursday night. I was going to be induced on Sunday! But because I wasn’t 36 weeks yet and there was no indication of fetal distress or anything, they couldn’t “help me along”. That’s fine. I agree with it, in theory. But the flip-side was that I was already 3 ½ cm dilated with twins and having regular contractions. They weren’t about to send me home. I could have insisted, I’m sure, but honestly, I didn’t want to risk it. SOO….I had to get my body going.
So. We started walking. I wished I had brought my running shoes instead of my Old Navy flip flops. And poor Liz wore shoes that were rubbing her heals and giving her blisters. But we walked. And walked. And walked. Every 45 minutes to an hour, we’d check back into our rook and the nurse would check me again. Progress was slow…but there WAS progress. And so we kept walking. I think I went from 3 ½ cm to a tiny bit over 4cm after the first 45 minutes of walking. And each time I’d walk, I would dilate just a little bit more.

10:20pm: I called Chip to see if he was off work yet. He told me he’d be off soon and would call again when he was. His plan was to go home and get some stuff and then come to the hospital. Liz would then leave the hospital and go stay overnight with the kids at our place.

10:55pm: Chip called and was on his way home.
Sometime around 11:30pm I got moved to my L&D room. At this point, I was around 5 ½ cm dilated. So it had taken 4 hours of walking…but at least SOMETHING was happening.
Chip got to the hospital at midnight. My plan was to walk around again with him when he got there, but I ended up sitting on a birthing ball for awhile instead and I think he went to find something to eat.

1:00am: I got my IV started. I knew I was going to want an epidural at some point. I had held out on starting the IV, although I’d gotten it placed when I first arrived, because I really really didn’t want to have to walk around dragging an IV pole with me the whole time. By this point, I was tired of walking and decided to go ahead and start it.

2:00am: I talked to my nurse and decided I would try to rest for awhile. I laid there for about 5 minutes before realizing that I was definitely to the point of “discomfort” that I was going to get NO rest without an epidural. I called her back in and asked if she’d call the anesthesiologist…no rush…but to get the process rolling.

3:00am: My anesthesiologist arrived. Went through the drill…this is an epidural….yada, yada, yada.

3:18am: Epidural was started. I was happy : )

At this point, we wanted to try to sleep.I don’t think I really DID sleep…but at least I rested. I know that not too long after I got the epidural the nurse went to check me and when I laid down flat my blood pressure dropped quite low (90/40). I had a history of low blood pressure with epidurals and I had let them know, so they weren't completely caught off guard.

6:00am: My new nurse came in. It was Carmen! One of my very most favorite nurses from my pre-term labor stay. She had worked a 12hr shift when I had been there before and I was SO EXCITED that she was going to be my delivery nurse. By this point…I was STILL only 6cm dilated. But she had talked to my doctor and they were going to start Pitocin. At this point, my contractions had slowed WAY down (about 1 every 10 minutes) and things just weren’t happening.

6:32am: I decided to call my mom. I knew she was probably anxious for an update. Then we took some pictures since we were just hanging around. Here they are:









7:15am: My pitocin was started (so I thought). My contractions picked up a TINY bit (like 1 every 5 minutes) but I thought it was weird that even as the upped the Pit, it still didn’t seem like much was happening. At some point in the morning we also had an ultrasound to determine where the babies were at. Emery was still head down….so far in the birth canal that we couldn’t see much of his head. Casey was transverse above Emery with his head on my right side.

9-something am: We realized that the Pitocin line was not plugged into my IV….instead, it was pouring out Pitocin all over the floor. Lovely. No wonder nothing was happening. So we REALLY started the Pitocin.

10ish am: My doctor came in to check me. I was still 6cm dilated and my bag of waters was “bulging”. She was pretty sure that I had so much amniotic fluid, that it was keeping Emery from really being able to press his head down hard on the cervix which was stalling my labor. She was pretty confident that breaking my water would get things to move fast. So she broke it…and the lovely warm gush began. I went from 6cm to 8cm almost right away. YAY…things were finally happening again!!

11am: I stared feeling “pressure” with contractions. Nothing too intense. No urge to push. But there was definitely pressure. I told my nurse because they wanted to know any time ANYTHING changed. I was laboring in a L&D room, but because of the increased risk of emergency C-section with twins, you are required to actually deliver in the OR. The plan was that as I felt pressure, we’d check things out, and once I close to completely dilated we’d call over to the OR and wheel me over and meet my doctor there and I’d begin to push and deliver my boys. It seemed easy enough. I knew we’d have plenty of time….nothing about this labor (or any of my other labors for that matter) had ever been fast. So I felt pressure. Told the nurse. She checked me. She felt around for a little bit longer than usual and said that she thought I was almost complete but that it felt a little bit strange to her. Not bad…just different. So she decided to have my doctor come and check me again.

11:20am: My doctor came back in to check me. She shattered the hopes that I was completely dilated. Nope. Still about 8 ½ cm. WHAT?!?! How could this be?? When my water broke I had gone from 6 to 8cm right away! It had been an hour. And I was on pitocin. And contractions were clearly happening. And I was feeling pressure with each contraction. And I was still only 8 ½ cm. BUM-MER. The doctor kept feeling and told us that she had just figured out why the nurse thought things felt strange AND why I was not progressing. Remember…..WAY WAY back at the beginning of this beautiful little story, when my sweet little Emery had made me SO happy at my ultrasound the day before because I got to see his little face since it WASN’T buried in my back for once. Well guess what? He was STILL face up. After weeks and weeks of ultrasounds showing him looking straight into my back, the little guy had decided to give us a pretty little shot for the camera…and then STAYED that way. He was “presenting posteriorly”. Not what I wanted to hear. My doctor explained that when the wrong part of the head is pressing on the cervix, it takes a lot more time to fully dilate. I remember asking her if I was still going to have the boys that day and her response was “hopefully”. I had been feeling like I was getting SO CLOSE to meeting my little peanuts…and this news made me feel like it was still so far away. My mind also went immediately to the increased chance of C-section that this presented….but I quickly pushed that away. I didn’t want to start worrying about it unless I really had to. My doctor told the nurses to have me lay on my sides and that icing my back could possibly encourage Emery to rotate. She left, telling me she’d check on me in a couple hours. The worst part in my mind at that point was the fact that the pressure I was feeling with contractions was definitely bearable, but definitely not very comfortable and I wasn’t very excited about several hours of labor feeling that pressure the whole time. My nurse, Carmen, helped me roll onto my side and got ice on my back.

11:40am: I called my mom again to let her know about the “stall” in progress. I told her that unless Emery decided to roll over, it would possibly be several more hours. While I was talking to her, I felt a strange little wiggle. It didn’t hurt at all, but I told my mom that Emery had just done something that felt really weird and I wondered if he had rolled over. The next contraction I had I felt even more pressure than I’d been feeling and decided that I should probably get off the phone (at 11:43am).
Sometime between 11:45am & 11:50am: I felt Emery LUNGE down…and KNEW I was completely dilated. He had decided that he was on his way out. NOW! As soon as he lunged downwards there was immediate INTENSE pressure. And it was no longer just with contractions. It was constant. I told the nurse that I thought he had just moved down and that I was fully dilated. She said ok. I told her that I thought it might be smart to check me. At this point, she was doing a great job at keeping her cool. I was annoyed by it at the time…feeling like she wasn’t taking me seriously. She told me after the fact that she was really nervous and didn’t want me to panic. She said she was taking me VERY seriously and was really nervous about the next few minutes and didn’t want to make it more stressful on me than she already knew it would be. I’m not positive about this, but I am PRETTY sure that when I told her it would be smart to check me, that she didn’t even end up checking me. She just started making calls and unplugging things. She called in more nurses…called my doctor (who had JUST left the room thinking it would be hours…) Within just a contraction or two, I was panicking. I NEEDED to push and I NEEDED to do it NOW. Because of the epidural, I wasn’t in any pain. But the pressure was so intense and overwhelming. Carmen was telling me to breathe and telling me it was ok. I was crying and starting to get somewhat hysterical. It was such a surreal experience because I KNEW I was FREAKING OUT but I had NO CONTROL over it at all. I could tell Chip was nervous. I think he was holding my hand for parts of it, but he was also trying to help the nurses get cords unhooked and get me moved to the OR. I remember saying “He’s coming out” over and over and “I’m sorry…I can’t not push…I’m really sorry…I’m trying not to” and just sobbing. It was crazy.

12:00pm: I was rolled into the OR. Everyone in the OR was rushing around. People were coming in all around me. No one was ready for me. No one had even known that I was coming. The anesthesiologist rushed in and was trying to monitor my blood pressure and also prep my epidural for the possibility of C-section. He was on my right side. On my left side, there were people preparing to lift me from the bed I was brought in on, onto the operating table. My doctor was not there yet. I was still desperately trying to keep from pushing and just trying to breathe. My whole body was shaking. An ultrasound machine was wheeled in. As they were transferring me to the operating table, I saw my doctor run past me to the foot of the table, still gowning up, and saying “I’m here…push when you need to”.



12:06 pm: Seconds after my doctor arrived, another contraction started and I was pushing and Emerson Earl was out. He had flipped to face down, just like I thought. He immediately cried a beautiful strong cry. I got to hold him for just a second before they took him over to assess him (not even really hold…more like he was laid on me and I gave him a quick kiss). Right away, my doctor started looking for Casey. She asked for ultrasound, but the machine takes 10-15 minutes to turn on and “warm up” and since we had only been in the room for about 7 minutes, it still wasn’t ready. Her plan was to grab him by the feet and pull him out, but she always checks things out with ultrasound and makes sure she’s holding what she thinks she is holding before she pulls (smart plan). While she was waiting for the ultrasound machine, nurses were pushing down on my belly to push him down, and my doctor began reaching inside me and found what she was pretty sure were his feet. His bag of amniotic fluid was still intact and made it harder for her to get a good hold on his feet. As she was holding his feet and waiting for ultrasound, he decided to pull his feet out of her hand and move them up to my ribcage, as far away from her as he could get them. His bag of water broke and fluid was gushing everywhere. She began feeling around again, and the ultrasound machine was finally ready. Another OB who had come in to assist was doing the ultrasound and my doctor was feeling around. She found his hands first. Then she found his head. She grabbed him by his little head and pulled him right down (an internal version). The other OB asked if she wanted a vacuum to help pull him into the birth canal…she said to wait on the vacuum, but to get it ready just in case. She asked if I was ready and told me I needed to do some pushing on the next contraction to push him into the birth canal. I pushed and it worked. He was right in place and ready to deliver.

12:20pm: The next contraction I pushed again and out came my little Cason Roy. I don’t remember much about Casey crying, although pictures show that he did. I think because Emery had just been wrapped up and was handed to me almost immediately after Casey was out. I had no tearing and no stitches which I could hardly believe, especially after my doctor had literally put her arm up inside of me to grab Casey.

Emerson Earl:




Cason Roy:










Emery & Casey both did GREAT after birth. Both were allowed to stay with me and we were all taken back to my L&D room. Once we were back to the room, they were weighed (Emery was 6lbs 5oz and Casey was 6lbs 10oz) and their glucose levels were tested. Both were low. I was already working on nursing Emery and Chip gave Casey a bottle. After about 30 minutes, they were re-tested and while their levels had gone up, they still were too low, so they were taken to an observation area (a step below NICU) to be watched for awhile.

Around 3pm I was moved to my recovery room. The nurse asked if I wanted to see the babies on the way and I said I did if they were going to be gone much longer. She decided to call and check on them and was told that they were getting ready to come to me right then. Since they were heading to my room, we decided not to stop and see them and I’d just meet them there. When we got to my room…no babies. I waited awhile and Chip called me at about 3:20. He said that they had realized the babies still hadn’t been cleaned up so they gave them a bath and then needed to wait and make sure they maintained a good temperature on their own. So I waited. I waited and waited and waited. I tried to call people to take my mind off of missing my boys.
7:10pm: I was talking to my mom and had decided I was going to call a nurse in to take me to the babies. As I was getting off the phone, they brought my boys in. It was wonderful.

The boys were able to stay with me the rest of the time we were at the hospital. We stayed Friday night and Saturday night and left around lunchtime on Sunday. Kenzie and Ryken got to come meet the boys on Saturday morning. The boys were both EXCELLENT nursers right away. I supplemented with some formula to make sure their glucose levels stayed up, but they switched to almost exclusive breastfeeding as soon as we were home from the hospital.

And that was my twin labor & delivery story. It went from slow and boring to crazy and overwhelming in about 1 minute thanks to Emery. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. God was so gracious. His hand of protection was on myself and the boys the whole time and I am so thankful that everything went the way it did. It was perfect.