From where does my help come?

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. [Psalm 121:1b-2]

Blessed are those who keep His testimonies,
Who seek Him with the whole heart!
The also do no iniquity;
They walk in His ways.
You have commanded us
To keep your precepts diligently.
[Psalm 119:2-4]

I sit. I read. I pray. I type. I pray. I delete. I pray. I type some more. I process.

Sometimes my days blend together. Each day repeats the day before. Other days I blink and a month has disappeared. Babies grow. Children learn. Messes are cleaned. The clean gets messy. Days are mixed with the practicality of living; of feeding, washing, growing, exploring, instructing, disciplining, learning, seeking and the call to be still. I'm called to seek Him with my whole heart. I'm called to know that He is God. 

People say I'm super mom. People look at me and the babes He's entrusted to my care; they look with wonder and awe. And I wonder back just how I can give all the glory to Him. The good they see is not me. There is still so much I struggle in my flesh. {but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, "Be holy, for I am holy."}[1 Peter 1:15-16] Still so far away. He still has so much work to do on me.

He is working on me.
He is asking questions of my actions. And questions of my heart.
I can hide from others, but not from Him.

And the fact is, that my actions reveal my heart. And so, as I look at the things that I do, say, wear, buy, invest in, spend time on, take pleasure in.....I must evaluate my heart.

And I seek and plead and ask God to show me what it looks like. And when the answer returns that it may....no that it WILL look differently for different people, I am left more confused than before.



But He is my help. He is MY HELP. He made heaven and earth....and He is my help.

So when I wake up, I will thank Him. When I dress, I will ask Him to show me HIS ways. He will help me. As I care for my littles, I will run to Him for help.

And I will pray that as I love Him and as He helps me, that others will see HIM and not me.